Give Up Your Goals
Here’s a radical idea: give up your goals.
Seriously.
I didn’t say give up writing, but what if we gave up our “finish line”? By definition, that finish line is in the future, whether it be completing a manuscript or making the bestseller list, and it hasn’t happened yet. If we bank all our energy on that goal, we’re focused on future happiness (i.e.: when the goal is met). Only, the future is always out of reach. Even when (if?) we meet our goal, it’s often only a temporary high. We then plan our next goal, and then the next, setting ourselves up to never be satisfied.
So, what, just give up, Jen?
No. Instead, reframe the idea of “goals” into “guesses”. Goals give you tunnel vision—you focus on only one thing—but guesses are flexible. Guesses are open-minded. Guesses are, “let’s try this and see what happens. Let’s try to finish a manuscript. Let’s try to get it published. Let’s try to enjoy the journey.” And if it doesn’t work? It’s easy to shift your guess. It’s shifting your exclamation mark (“dammit, I’m going to do it!”) into a question (“is this how I can do it?”). One sets you up for failure. The other sets you up for experimentation. One forces you on a certain path; the other offers you opportunities you may otherwise have missed.
Giving up your goals is not about giving up your dreams: it’s about giving up on the stress they cause, instead.