Celebrate Your Strengths

There are some things I’m good at, some things I learn and some things I’m never gonna master (ahem, marketing).

When it comes to writing—and publishing and selling—that covers a lot of ground. I think I’m good at character development and worldbuilding and dialogue. I’ve learned how to plot and write action sequences. I’m on a continual (and, it feels like a never-ending) learning curve about how to get the word out there about my writing. 

Which means, like most of us, I fret about what I’m not good at; I worry about where I need to improve. That’s not a bad thing. I don’t want to get complacent—or worse, arrogant—to think I know everything about writing. But I’m realizing it’s coming at the expense of recognizing what I do excel at. We all excel at something, even if we’re learning new skills. So I’ve taken time to re-focus on my writing superpower: writing emotions. Diving into a character’s head. It’s what I love most about writing, so why not celebrate that I’m good at it? It’s easy to dismiss our accomplishments as hubris, but it’s not. In this writing world, which is so diverse and vast, we need to believe in ourselves and our own abilities. It’s hard, absolutely. But I challenge you: find one thing about your writing life that you feel you’re good at and cling to that. 

Go ahead, celebrate your strengths. You deserve that.

The Power of Yoga (Sort of…)

My history with yoga: hate. 

I actually have nothing against yoga! Or people who dedicate themselves to it. Whenever I tried it, though, it was never right for me. And the more people encouraged me to do it, the more I resisted until it became a thing. I will never do yoga. 

Until I read about a character who practiced yoga. Over the years, I’ve read about a lot of characters who practiced yoga, but this one impacted me in a different way. The character, a man with a high profile, stressful job kept his yoga private—not because he was ashamed of it but because he wanted something that was his alone to help centre himself. 

It got me thinking about my own attitude toward yoga. If I was going to do anything physical, it was going to be cardio. No point in exercise if it wasn’t sweat-filled treadmill time. Yoga, obviously couldn’t compete. But then this character reminded me of its true purpose: strength, balance, flexibility, meditation—it wasn’t supposed to compete with a run. 

I’m encouraged to try yoga again. I may or may not like it, but that’s not my point. My point is how one character, in one book changed my perspective. 

That’s the power you have as a writer. You never know when your one character in your one book may have a positive influence on a reader.

So keep writing! People like me, whose minds have been closed, we need you to help us open them.

Finding Joy in Writing

Is there a part of writing that, no matter how you try to psyche yourself up, you simply dread it? Brainstorming? Drafting? Revision? Querying? Marketing? (All of the above?? 🙂 )

While there are always challenges at every stage, the hope is that you can find a way through them, back to enjoyment. But what if you constantly feel like you’re hitting your head against a brick wall because everyone has told you this is what you have to do at that writing stage? 

Do something different. 

No writer out there has a magic bullet. No writer out there has all your answers. I have my writing process; you have yours. Learning about other authors can help you figure out your own method and style, but there’s no checklist.

That’s both daunting and freeing. I’ve worked with writers who struggle with their genre—until they let go of what they “should” be doing and write what they want instead. Fiction to memoir. Mystery to romance. I’ve had clients switch up age groups. Middle-grade to young-adult. Adult to middle grade. Writer friends have been convinced they’d query literary agents, only to decide self-publishing was right for them. Colleagues have shut down newsletters because they don’t feel authentic to them. 

If finding joy in our writing is our goal, then all our paths may look different. I’ll share with you what I’ve learned, and you share with me what you’ve learned. 

That’s the way to pull back from that brick wall and find joy again.

Writing Resolutions

Have you made your new year’s resolutions for your writing life yet? Determined how many words you’ll write every day or every week? Or how many minutes you’ll devote to your craft? 

I’ve done all of that in the past. Sometimes I kept my resolutions; sometimes I didn’t. 

This year, I’m trying something different. I am making a new year’s writing resolution, but it’s neither a lofty goal (get a novel published this year) nor a specific metric (get xx of pages written per week.) 

I’m resolving to focus on how I feel when I write. My aim: enjoyment; contentment; a sense of satisfaction as I write (not just when I’m done!)

Writing is hard. I’m not trying to downplay the challenges that come with writing a novel or memoir. Not every moment of our writing lives can be “fun”. So in that sense, I might miss the mark on my resolution. But it’s not about meeting that goal for every minute of my writing time; it’s rather a reminder about why I write in the first place. 

Because, overall, I like it. 

If I can remember that one small, yet significant fact, then it won’t matter how many words a week I write, or how much time I spend every month. 

It only matters that I’m doing something I love because I want to do it. 

That’s my goal: to keep enjoying my writing, despite its challenges. Will you join me?

Holiday Traditions

My family celebrates Christmas and it’s a big deal. We’re into decorations, gift giving and… traditions. 

I hadn’t realized how important those traditions are to my own two teenagers until we started decorating our house this season. We’ve lived in the same house for 15 years, so every Christmas item has its usual place. My daughter asked for a reminder about where a stuffed snowman usually goes. 

“On that table,” I pointed, “but you can put it wherever you want.”

The world stopped spinning.

My daughter looked at me as if I were an alien. “Uh, no,” she said. “If it belongs on this table, that’s where it goes.” 

I got to thinking about why that snowman had to be on that table. The only reason? That’s where I first put it 15 years ago because, well, the table was just there. Not exactly mythic symbolism.

But the symbolism grew over time, and the placement of the snowman became sacred.

I wonder if we think our writing should be like that all the time: sacred, symbolic, infused with importance. I’m not saying it shouldn’t be, but like my snowman, maybe we don’t have to put so much pressure on ourselves to make it like that. Maybe, as writers, we can just write—because the words are, like my table, just there. 

I smile every time I see the snowman now. It’s become symbolic for me, too: no need to put pressure on myself as a writer. 

Turning Yoda’s Wisdom on Its Head

With all due respect to Yoda, the Star Wars Jedi guru is full of s**t. 

“Do or do not. There is no try,” he says to Luke Skywalker, a budding Jedi he’s training in Empire Strikes Back.

The line is supposed to be about commitment—to go all in. And I’m all for that. 

But this quote only makes sense if you appreciate that Luke really means he’s going to put in a half-hearted try. So it’s not the try that’s Yoda’s problem with Luke. It’s his wavering dedication. 

But the quote on its own sends the wrong message, especially to writers. “Do or do not” means write and publish or don’t even bother. Yet we all need practice. And we all don’t get our first novel turned into bestsellers. So does that mean we should all throw in the towel? 

Obviously not. Because when we try, we are doing. We’re performing an action—writing. And then we’re doing it again. And again. And again. And if we do it enough times and we learn as we go, then eventually, we’ll have a completed book and then we try to get it out into the world. We’re “doing” again. We’re querying agents or researching hybrid publishers or determining the value of self-publishing. 

So absolutely there is a “try”! And most likely fail. And then “try” again. 

At the risk of sounding pompous enough to out-wisdom Yoda, I say we rewrite his script:

“Try or try not. That’s all there is.”

Our Writer SuperPower

How do you see yourself? As a smart, capable, persevering person that others see you as? Or do you scoff if you’re complimented? If they only knew the real me, you may think. It’s no secret that we’re always harder on ourselves, that we have difficulty seeing ourselves the same way other people claim to see us.

It’s true the world over, I’m sure, but we, as writers, actually have an incredible advantage. It’s our job to show the world what people—our characters—really think on the inside. It’s our job to show that contrast between how the rest of the world views our protagonist and how they view themselves. As writers, we have insight into that duality that others may not.

The key, then, is to apply that very same empathy we use on our characters on ourselves. If we know there’s a disconnect between our protagonist’s view of themselves and how the world sees them, then isn’t there a chance that same disconnect exists within us? That maybe, just maybe, our own thoughts and emotions may not be as logical or objective as we may think? That maybe we are smart and capable and skilled at persevering?

And if, at the very least, we can acknowledge that truth—that maybe our opinions of ourselves aren’t based solely in fact—then, like the characters we write, we are well on our way to our own resolution. Maybe, even, our very own happily-ever-after. 🙂

Assumptions Aren’t Facts

My teen daughter asked me to pick her up at an event outside the city. Dutifully, I arrived on time and texted her to say I was waiting. Then I waited. And waited. It was unlike her not to text me to say she’d be late, but well, you know, teens and their friends… Still, as the minutes wore on, I got irritated. I did have other things to do. 

Finally, she showed up. I was about to snap at her when she told me there was no cell service there. She hadn’t gotten my text. She’d been waiting for me, thinking I was late.

Here I was, getting angry based solely on my assumptions. I knew she was responsible and still I assumed she’d been at fault. 

We do it all the time in our writing. We assume. We assume our writing isn’t good enough. Or the literary agents don’t like our work, or readers don’t care. We assume all sorts of reasons why people do what they do. But we may be wrong. We may use confirmation bias—because we think they may not like our writing, then that must be why they haven’t responded the way we’d hoped. But that doesn’t make it true. 

Remember that, the next time you assume. Take a step back. Ask yourself if there could be another reason. It’s not only worth giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, it does wonder for your own confidence, too. 

Invisible AND Impactful

I’ve read books that I love, love, love and keep re-reading. 

I’ve read books that are meh. After I’m done, they sit on my shelf and that’s that. 

I’ve read books that, well, I never finished reading. 

Don’t we all want to write a book that falls into the first category? 

Sure. But your “love-love-love” pile may look vastly different than mine. And your discard pile may have some of my favourites in it.

So how in the world are you supposed to navigate every reader’s whims and desires in their writing taste? 

Obviously you can’t. You focus on your ideal reader. Aim to reach one person. That’s it. It’s not a plan to overwhelming financial success, but, then, most plans in the writing life aren’t. 🙂 But it is a plan to feeling successful. Knowing you’ve made an impact on one person’s life is huge. It’s worth it. 

But here’s the catch: you may never know who that one person is. I have only twice in my life told an author directly how much their books impacted me. And that’s because I had the opportunity to meet them in person. All the other authors whose books moved me don’t have any idea how their stories impacted me.  

Just because they don’t know that, though, doesn’t make their books any less valuable. 

As a writer, your impact may feel invisible. But invisible doesn’t mean it’s not real. 

is whoYOU Are

I read an interview with Ralph Macchio, the actor who played Daniel LaRusso in the 1980s Karate Kid trilogy. He talked about a decades-long dry spell in his acting career after that, which was only recently resurrected with Cobra Kai, a TV series based on his Karate Kid character in middle age. He explains that he didn’t succumb to the desperation he might have as an actor because of his guiding motto: one foot in showbiz and one foot out. 

It reminded me of writing—but maybe in reverse. Most of us feel like we have only one toe dipped into the writing pool and all the rest of us is out. But we still often feel the desperation of wanting what the “others” have (other authors, other people we consider successful). It’s not wrong to want what we perceive as success, but it’s still all about balance. Ralph Macchio is considered a nice guy, by all accounts, and people speculate he didn’t get further earlier because he didn’t take more risks. “That probably does create more opportunity, I get that,”  he said in The Guardian interview. “But it wasn’t me.”

That is the best role model I can think of for any creative person. Have one foot in, one foot out of your creative endeavor and be true to yourself. That way you’re well positioned to take in stride all the tumult the outside world throws at you—good and bad. 

That’s the way you define your own success.