What’s Important to You?

Have you ever played the “If today was your last day” game? Where, with your (pretend) impending death you look hard at your life and priorities? Some may consider the “what-if” morbid (“live every day like it’s your last day!”) or in poor taste (“Why focus on dying?”); I find it a welcome, bracing wake-up call, like jumping into a cold pool. It may be shocking to your system, but it’s also surprisingly refreshing. 

What would I do? Well, I’d teleport myself to a tropical island, for one. But when I’m lounging on my deck overlooking white sand and turquoise ocean? I’d be writing. I’m not saying this because I love writing so much that I can’t wait to dive into it every spare minute I have. Au contraire, mes amis. I avoid writing as much as the next, well, writer. 🙂 But there’s a story I love to work on—one I may not even show anyone when it’s complete. It’s a labour of love, that I enjoy without any pressure of finding a publisher or readership or sales or marketing. That’s the story I’d want to finish if today were my last day. That’s the pleasure I wish for you with your own writing.

And if writing isn’t on your list? That’s okay!! Because (God—or Higher Power—willing) you’ll have many, many more days before your last one to write when you want to or when you can. Your stories will always be there waiting for you.

When You Become a “Real” Writer

Do you feel like a “real” writer? Many writers don’t. Not until they have a book published and can’t point to the shelf in the bookstore as proof. 

I felt that way for a long time. I believed that I needed validation from the publishing industry to call myself a “real” writer. 

Now I have a book I can point to on the bookstore shelf. 

But this big publishing moment in my writing journey hadn’t transformed me the way I thought it would.

Because—somewhere along the line—I had already begun to think of myself as a “real” writer. 

When? I wondered? And how did that happen?

It had been a gradual process, I realized, and it had nothing to do with a publishing deal. It had everything to do with my confidence. I am a good writer, whether I have a book on that shelf or not. I came to believe that because I kept working on my writing. The more I developed my craft, the more I learned about how to write a good story, the more I practiced, the more I felt like a “real” writer. 

I don’t know what that point is for everyone, when they’ve worked enough at their writing to finally feel “real”. I don’t even know what, exactly, that point was for me. What I do know is how worthwhile all my work, effort and learning was, when I did realize yes, I am a real writer. 

Just like you.

Weddings and Writing

On my wedding day, I got to live out my little-girl dreams. I was marrying my Prince Charming, in a hotel that was the closest thing Ottawa had to a castle, with a gorgeous dress that would rival any fairy-godmother’s creation. 

Then I saw another princess! Another bride! 

I felt deflated. Logically, I knew there were dozens of weddings that day just in my area alone. But emotionally, I felt deprived. Wasn’t this my special day? 

I got in the elevator with a guest of the other bride. 

“You look gorgeous,” she said. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you,” I replied, wondering if she was a traitor to her bride for complimenting me. 

But her comment cheered me immensely. It reminded me that another couple’s happiness didn’t negate my own. 

It’s what we feel as writers sometimes. We love what we’ve written (at least I hope you do!!) and we want to share it with the world. We know there are a million other books out there, but we want—for even one day—for the attention to belong to us. 

I used to think that was all the attention—biggest bestseller, a household name to rival the literary giants—but I’ve since realized my error. I didn’t have to worry about “sharing” my special day with another bride, just like I don’t have to worry about all the other books out there. My day was special. My writing is special.

So, too, is yours. 

Story vs Life

I harp on my clients—and myself—all the time about cause-and-effect in writing. To ensure a story makes sense, one scene has to lead to another. Because of this, THEN that… 

Cause-and-effect controls the pacing of the story, and ensures nothing is too contrived, coincidental or convenient. 

One reason I love cause-and-effect is how linear the concept it. One thing happens and then another. It’s the way my mind works. It’s the way my job used to work, too. Because I got a teaching degree, then I got a teaching job. 

It so doesn’t work that way as a writer. Because I wrote a book, then… what? Land an agent? Get published? 

I did write a book. And landed an agent. But the next linear step—publishing—never happened. So I tried again. No “effect”. So I veered off into hybrid publishing. But even the success of Evangeline’s Heaven isn’t guaranteed because of cause-and-effect. 

What’s easy to forget is that in the real world, there may be effects, but the cause may not be clear. Our lives are a spider web of connections, where a straight line may simply not exist.

Which means it’s normal if you find yourself on a different writing trajectory that you thought. Or you shift directions. Or circle back around. Or find success in the most unlikeliest of places. 

Cause-and-effect is essential for a great story, but not necessarily life. Instead, go along for the ride! THEN tell your story about it. 🙂

Comp Titles and Confidence

Comp titles make me shudder. They are comparative (or competitive) titles, books that are similar in some way to yours. They are a marketing tool used by author, publisher, distributor and bookseller to help everyone figure out where your story should live on the bookshelves. 

Comp titles make sense: “If you like xxxx, then you’ll love this…” It’s a terrific shorthand to help readers (and the industry) pin you down. If you want to sell books, it’s necessary. 

But comp titles are also anxiety inducing for writers. How do I know the best comp title? How do I find them? How do I know if my story is close enough to another story to be a comp title? How do I know it’s not too close? Often, writers struggle with where their story fits in the wide world. Their stories are unique of course, but ultimately, nothing is new under the sun. 

But it’s okay if you don’t know! At least while you’re writing your story. Because comp titles are a sales tool, NOT an element of writing. Yes, you can focus your story if you know your audience, including other books like yours that they’d like to read, but it’s if you don’t know, don’t fret. Focus on your story first. Work on your craft. Write the best book you can write.

Because ultimately, writing isn’t about sales. It’s about writing. And the joy you get from it. 🙂

What We Can Learn from Terry Fox

Terry Fox, a Canadian athlete who lost his leg to cancer, embarked on his 1980 Marathon of Hope, a cross-country run to raise money for cancer research. He had to end his quest after 143 days and 5,373 kilometres (3,339 miles) and he died of cancer in 1981, at the age of 22. But his legacy has raised more than Cdn$800 million in his name for cancer research. 

Yet that’s not the whole of Terry’s story. He struggled, both physically and mentally. He ran the equivalent of a marathon every single day, sometimes in gale force winds and rain and even snow. In the beginning, he was often disappointed with how few donations he’d receive, and was often angry and frustrated at those who he felt impeded him. 

Imagine that. Mile after lonely mile, just him and the road, just him and perseverance. He could not have known at that time how his story would end, or what his impact would be. 

The same is true for us as writers. We may never have the kind of global, humanitarian impact as Terry Fox, but that doesn’t make our stories any less valuable. The problem is, when we’re on that lonely highway, mile after mile, word after word, it’s sometimes hard to keep going. Terry did because he had a goal. His drive to raise money and offer hope kept him going. 

Think about your goal. Keep it close to you as you struggle and strive. Like Terry, that will keep you going.

When Your Book Flies the Nest

You may have heard how some writers feel like their books are their babies—loving and nurturing (and being driven crazy!) by them. Some argue it isn’t a fair metaphor since books are a business, but I think it’s an apt analogy. Just like babies, books “grow up”. You work hard to sculpt and shape them into the best they can be, then, with time, they’re ready to take on the world. 

Your book is the same. You finish writing it, you put it out there and then it has to fly on its own. Yes, you want to shepherd it as best you can, but once it’s in someone else’s hands, it’s their choice what they do with it. Like a parent, there’s only so much you can do to ensure your story’s success. 

And that’s freeing! Absolutely we worry about our children and our books out on their own, but we can’t (or shouldn’t) ascribe what happens to them as the sole basis for our success or failure. So if your book doesn’t get picked up by a literary agent or you don’t sell a lot of copies, that’s no more a reflection on you as a writer than it would reflect on you as a parent if your children didn’t get a job they’d interviewed for. We can only do so much—for our children and our books. It’s scary to relinquish control, but, it’s also liberating.

Now you can focus on your next story. 🙂

It’s the Journey

I’ve always hated the “inspirational” saying, It’s the journey, not the destination. 24 hours to Florida in the backseat of your car with your sister as a kid? Nope. A long flight to New Zealand with young children? Nope. The journey was always just drudgery. 

But now I think I was wrong. Recently I travelled to Halifax to visit my best friend. I was excited to go! You know, excited for the destination. But I also found myself excited about the flight: an hour and a half of just me and my book. 

This bolt-of-lightning awareness made me reframe my whole attitude toward that insidious phrase. Maybe the journey could be part of the experience, not an obstacle I needed to overcome on my way there. 

Maybe that’s a better way to approach my writing life, too. It’s not about getting a manuscript finished, or published, or purchased, because as I’ve learned, with my debut novel now out in the world, it’s not done! Interviews, events, articles, podcasts, are all the next step in my writing career. So if my destination was simply a book out there in the world, then yes, I’ve arrived—but there’s so much more to enjoy. It’s like… (wait for it…) the whole writing process, from brainstorm to draft to revision to connecting with readers is the journey! That I can enjoy.

So now I’ve profoundly altered my worldview. See how impactful writing can be? 🙂

And How to Fight It

Thanks to my FairyBookseller, Perfect Books in Ottawa, my dream came true! I saw, with my very own eyes, my very own book on a real bookshelf in a real bookstore. 

Excited? Absolutely. 

Feeling like an absolute, utter imposter? Most definitely. 

Who am I to be on this same shelf with these big-name authors? They sell books; they have fans. What the hell am I doing here??

I’m not surprised. I had heard the Imposter Syndrome is tenacious. It will grab hold and never let you go. At every stage, you may think, okay, the next step is when I’ll feel like I belong in this writing world. And then the next step comes along and you still feel like you shouldn’t be there. 

And it doesn’t help to state the obvious: “Getting a book published is a huge accomplishment!” “You worked hard to get here so you deserve to be here!” “Of course you’re not selling thousands of copies—yet. You’re just starting out!” 

But alas, logic doesn’t always convince emotion. 

So how to slay the Imposter Syndrome beast—at any stage? 

Validation. Tell yourself it’s okay that you feel that way—there’s never anything wrong with how you feel. It’s how you act on it that matters. So I may not feel (yet) like I belong on that shelf, but I am there! So that’s the way I’ll act. And from action comes experience. From experience comes confidence. From confidence comes faith in yourself. 

And that is magic fairy dust.

A Smile and a Wave

In nice weather, I’ll often go for a run. But where I live, all my routes involve starting uphill. (Yes, yes, yes, downhill on the way back, but that’s not what I’m thinking when I begin…:) ) 

One day I started my run, psyching myself for the not-gentle hill ahead of me when a runner going the opposite direction—that is to say, downhill—waved. Most of us runners acknowledge each other with a nod or a smile, but this woman went further. She lifted her hands above her head and clapped in support of my strenuous climb. I didn’t know her, she didn’t know me, but we were in this hill-thing together, and she was cheering me on. I’ve only seen her one other time: when I was on my way downhill and she was going up. 

And she still cheered me. 

This one woman and her one gesture has made tackling that hill easier ever since. 

That’s what we writers can do for each other. One small gesture—a post on social media, a “good job” to a writer friend, a review online—can be enough to encourage us to continue. Not all of our writing life is uphill, but when it feels like it, it’s nice to know there’s someone there with us. 

And if you haven’t yet built up your own support network? Then please reach out. I’ll be the one with my arms overhead, in victory, cheering you on every step of the way.