Bridging The Distance

I had a dream in which a friend invited me on a journey. In front of us was a deep, wide ravine with treacherous rocks below. “Come on!” he said, scampering to the edge and climbing down. I was terrified to slide down the steep ravine walls, clamber over razor-sharp rocks and climb up, but still I followed. A few times I slipped and my heart leaped into my chest. Even on other side, I couldn’t stop trembling, knowing I had the return journey to make.

“Why,” I asked, “do you not have a bridge?” 

 “Because this is more fun!”

“I’d have a bridge,” I muttered. 

When I woke up, I felt as if I’d discovered a metaphor for my writing life. Every time I sat down at my keyboard, I felt like I was facing the treacherous ravine. I’d dive in, frightened the whole time (what if I’m not good enough? What if it sucks? What if I get writer’s block?) and then, reaching the other side, I despaired, knowing I’d have to do it all over again. But I wanted it to be fun! Like my friend experienced.

That’s when I realized his version of fun was the climb. My version of fun would be to walk across a bridge. 

That’s what I’m doing now. Building a bridge over all my fears and anxieties. They’re there, underneath, like the rocks, but I can bypass them. And without constantly being weighed down by fear? I’m enjoying a much smoother journey. 🙂

…Of A Writer’s Life

Ah, living the dream, living the dream… 

Yeah, but which one? The dream whose definition is a cherished aspiration or ambition? Or the dream whose definition is a series of thoughts images, sensations occurring when one is asleep?

I know, I know, the expression is meant to reflect the cherished ambition. Quit your day job to write full time, and earn a comfortable living as a well-respected, award-winning author? I’m all in!

But in my experience, living the dream of the writer’s life is much more like the second: nightmarish, anxiety-inducing, waking-up-in-a-cold-sweat dream. And rainbows-and-unicorns and pastel-colour worlds. And everything in between. 

It’s this version of “living the dream” that is (ironically) more realistic. Writing isn’t all sunshine and roses, as the first definition implies. It’s not all about feeling joy and bliss and happiness every day. 

Because writing is hard. 

But we often forget that. Instead, we dream of words flowing effortlessly onto the page, a waterfall of brilliance—and then are disappointed when it doesn’t happen. 

So we need to remind ourselves that writing does take effort, that it can be challenging, that it’s not always fun—that it’s okay to hate it sometimes. By validating our own frustrations, we feel better—which leads us back to joy. 

So yes, I am living the dream: both nightmares and sunny days. To me, it’s worth it.

What Writers Can Learn From a High School Dance!

Let’s talk prom. Yes, the rite-of-passage high school dance portrayed a million times in a million different ways. Did your school have one? Did you go? Did it look anything like the ones portrayed in TV shows, movies or books? 

Mine didn’t. Starting with the fact that I went to four of them. Back in the day, Ontario had Grade 13 but some students could “fast-track” and graduate in Grade 12, so prom was open to both grades. In Grade 11, my Grade 12 boyfriend invited me to his prom. I went to my Grade 12 and Grade 13 proms. The next year, I was my Grade 12 friend ‘s prom date. Each was a crazy, fun, different experience. None was anywhere close to the way I’d imagined from pop culture. 

What’s this got to do with writing, Jen? 

Assumptions. What we think we know from what we’ve heard or seen or read but haven’t yet experienced. Have you imagined what the life of a bestseller would be like? Media interviews, book tours, accolades—awards, even!

By all means, dream big! But dream your own big. Your experience, should you live that life, may look nothing like what we’ve heard from other people.

Just like prom. 

Which, for me, is a reassuring reminder that my own writing journey is unique—crazy, fun and different. 

So next time you find yourself daydreaming about the life of your favourite author and all they’ve accomplished? 

Remember prom. 

And enjoy your own path.

Celebrate You!

Awards make us feel good. They’re a wonderful source of hard-earned validation. And we’re proud of our accomplishments!

But as a writer toiling away in obscurity, awards seem out of reach. How do you feel good about your work now? 

Create your own award. (As the only nominee, you’ll always win!) Mine? The Rylan Awards. It has categories recognizing the best of my work in a given year (or month, or week—hey, they’re my awards!)

Best character: Perry, a secondary character from my work-in-progress. I may have to give him his own book. 🙂

Best line: “There were others, too, not just families. Young couples in love, not in love, wishing to be in love, singletons, and the elderly, also in love, not in love, wishing to be in love.”

Best writing moment: the spark for my next novel. A woman’s husband is on the brink of death, She pleads with the Grim Reaper to spare him because their love story is unique so they deserve more time. The Reaper strikes a bargain: convince him it’s true or not only does her husband die, but she will become immortal and have to live forever without him.  

Best lightbulb moment: when I figured out a piece of my protagonist’s history that unlocked the rest of my plot!

Make up whatever categories you want, sift through your work, have fun with it and remind yourself why you should be proud of your work. Oh, and congratulations! 🙂

Show Up For Yourself

A winter storm swept through Ottawa, turning the streets into a slippery, sodden mess. I had plans to meet a friend; driving would miserable. A half-thought crossed my mind to postpone. We didn’t have to meet that morning. But I wanted to go. So I would have to be more diligent on the roads, so what? I know how to drive in bad weather. It’s irritating, but not impossible. 

So roads unplowed, getting stuck in a snowbank, fish-tailing through snowdrifts, I persevered. And enjoyed my morning!

A storm of chaos swept through my life, turning my day into a slippery, sodden mess. I had plans to write; finding time would be miserable. A half-thought crossed my mind to postpone. I didn’t have to write that morning. But I wanted to. So I would have to be more diligent with my time, so what? I know how to multitask. It’s irritating but not impossible. 

So dishes unwashed, losing my notes, navigating through homework help, I persevered. And enjoyed my morning!

My writing is like my friend and I show it the respect it deserves. I wasn’t going to stand up my friend just because of obstacles; I’m not going to stand up my writing just because obstacles. Yes, sometimes I’ll have to cancel on my friends, so yes, sometimes I’ll have to cancel on my writing, too. That’s okay. That’s life. 

But if you show up for your writing? You also show up for yourself. You deserve it.

You.

Year-end reviews give you the best and the worst—of books, movies, TV shows, and, well, everything. What I love about these lists is that they don’t necessarily include the most popular. In fact, one list of best performances in a movie included a slew of A-list Hollywood actors starring in smaller, unnoticed films. The best in the business and they were overlooked.  

So here’s my math: if a=b and b=c therefore a=c, right? If the best=overlooked and overlooked=you, therefore the best=you. 🙂

My point? A well-known one that is easy to forget: popularity does not guarantee quality and quality does not guarantee popularity. Ah, you say, what about when popularity and quality meet? Absolutely! Strive for both if that’s your goal. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, there’s nothing wrong with any writing goal, including getting big name celebrity endorsements or getting even bigger movie deals. 

What trips us up, though, is thinking that’s the only goal to make us feel like successful writers. Maybe there are other paths to share your work: write for friends and family, self-publish, hybrid publish, publish with a small press, post your work online, or keep hammering at traditional publishing. 

You may feel overlooked right now, and that may sting. But maybe you remind yourself if the best of the best can also be overlooked, then you’re in good company. 🙂

Writing Is About YOU

I’m an excellent teacher. How do I know? 1) I’ve witnessed improvements in my students’ skills and confidence. 2) My students tell me. 3) Professional evaluations from experts (i.e.: my principal). 

You know what’s not on that list of evidence? Marks. I cannot evaluate my ability to teach based solely on students’ grades. My students’ achievements are a collaboration between them and me. I teach, they learn. Too many factors in a student’s life—their own motivation, skills, home life, parental support, etc. play into their success. The teacher is one factor—important, necessary—but still only one. 

I’m an excellent writer. How do I know? 1) I’ve witnessed improvements in my own writing skills and confidence. 2) My readers tell me. 3) Professional evaluations from experts (i.e.: my book coach). 

You know what’s not on that list of evidence? Publication. I cannot evaluate my ability to write based solely whether an agent or publisher chooses my work. Publication is a collaboration between agents, editors, writers, booksellers and more. I write. They publish. Too many factors in a publisher’s business—profit margins, similar titles, market conditions—play into how they choose their titles. My writing is one factor—important, necessary—but still only one. 

What this means for you: You don’t need to be published to be a good writer. You just need you to keep working at your craft. Thankfully, that’s in your control. And then? Own it, whether you’re published or not: “I am a great writer.” 

Find Where You Belong

In elementary school, I was friends with girls who would later become the “popular clique” in high school. I had different friends by then, but I never believed them to be snobby the way others sometimes criticized. I knew they were genuine, kind people who had simply found their people. And I’d found mine. 

When we’re not yet established in the writing world, we often feel like we’re on the outside looking in. Those authors, publishers and agents are in the clique, and they won’t let us in. Why is our writing not good enough to join?  

But the writing world isn’t an exclusive club whose membership is restricted and elite. The authors, publishers and agents may form one part of the writing world, but that doesn’t make them any more or less important than you or me. They’ve simply found their people. 

Now you find yours. 

It’s true that your people may be their people, or maybe not. And that’s okay. Because there are other writers whose needs and interests support yours. 

How do you find them? Online writing communities or in-person writer groups may be one answer. 

I’m another answer. Writers—new, established, young, old—who want to keep building their craft and their confidence, they’re my people. Which means I’m your people. 

Feel free to reach out or keep in touch even if you’re not using my services. Send me an email anyway! You don’t have to do this alone. In this writing world, you’ve got people.

Write for You

Remember when writing was fun? Yeah, sometimes me neither. Sometimes we get so caught up in making sure we’re doing everything “right” that we forget why we even started. Yes, we need to study our craft, but even Olympic athletes take breaks from their training.

My suggestion: Write a story just for you. No one else has to see it (and if you do show it to someone, the privilege comes with a very strict rule: they are only allowed to say how much they love it. :)) When you remove the pressure of trying to write well all the time (am I getting in the character’s head enough? Does my world building make sense?) you can simply write for fun. 

A tip: Consider writing fan fiction. I admit I used to be a terrible snob. I had thought fan fiction was a cop out—someone else did all the hard work of creating the characters and worlds. But I’m wrong! Fan fiction can be liberating for that very reason. Half the work is already done for you! So choose your favorite book, TV show, movie or characters. Then take a few minutes here and there to write a story no one will see. (Tell your inner critic that includes them!)

When there’s no need to impress, sell, market, or find readers, you’ll remember why writing is fun. Then you dive back into your own story that will set fire to the world. And enjoy it all the more. 

Change It!

“Write what you know,” they say. 

But what if you don’t know anything?

Let me rephrase. I mean, what if I don’t know anything dramatic or adventurous or truly extraordinary? I’m not a spy or a soldier or celebrity. My experiences, and hence the wealth of my knowledge, are quite mundane. That’s a good thing—no tragedies in my life, no dark family secrets upending my worldview. I live a privileged life in a safe country. For that I am truly grateful.

Then how can I write about betrayal or murder or war or longing? How can I write about angels and devils and the Seven Heavens that I created in my YA fantasy novel? I don’t know those things. 

But I feel those things. I can feel for characters who were betrayed—or doing the betraying. I can feel the pain of death, the ache of longing, the joy of living. I can feel my protagonist Evangeline’s desire to stay close to her beloved father Lucifer and I can feel her heartbreak when she learns about the evil he’s done. 

As writers, we need to be in our protagonist’s heads. We need to communicate to the reader how that character feels, not just what they know. 

And we’re all experts at feeling.

So I say we revise the advice: Forget “write what you know.” Instead, “write what you feel.”