There IS No Pattern to Writing Success

You’ve read about the “successful” author, right? The one whose debut novel gets snapped up immediately with a six-figure advance? But you’ve also heard the wonder stories of the author whose 10^th book finally hits it big. Or the story of the author who wrote 20 manuscripts before finally publishing their first. Or the story of the author who has written one novel and gotten picked up by the first agent they queried. Or the one who got picked up after 100 rejections. 200. 300. 

In other words, you’ve no doubt heard every permutation possible about the writing life.

Which means there is no pattern to becoming a bestseller, or getting published, or landing an agent. It’s understandable that you may feel despair if your path isn’t the same as an author you admire, but it’s also an illusion. You find me a writer, and I’ll find you a unique story. Yes, there can be similarities in our journeys (ahem, rejection) but for every “success” story one way, I can find you a success story another way. I can also find you a “failure” story one way and yet another a different way. 

We want there to be a pattern; we don’t even care if it’s easy! But there isn’t (otherwise, everyone who followed said path would garner the same success), so instead, take heart to know that whatever your writing journey is, you’re not alone.

Stay Away From Shoulds

There are a lot of shoulds in the writing world. You should write a certain way. You should pitch a certain way. You should publish a certain way. Only, “a certain way” is never just one way. One cursory glance online and you can see a million different “right ways”. Every one of those authors, coaches, publishers, agents, editors—even readers—has their own version of “the right way”. What, as someone trying to navigate these stormy seas, should you do?

Chart your own course. It’s a cliché, but the longer I’m in the writing business, the more I see its value. Yes, it’s good to learn what others are doing—I’d argue it’s essential to learn what others are doing. But that’s not the same as deciding that what others are doing is your own step-by-step guide. There are simply too many “right ways” to succeed (or fail, for that matter). There’s no replicating another writer’s success. In fact, there aren’t even “best practices”. That would infer there are better ways than others to accomplish something. 

But that ambiguity may feel like you’re still drowning in these rough waters. So start with something you do know, or something you are interested in learning about. Start with your craft. Start with what you love—writing. Focus on building the best story you can write. That may look different from other people’s practices—or it may look the same. Regardless, it’s about finding out what works for you. 

Sometimes clichés make for the best advice. 

What to Read or What Not To Read?

My dilemma: read new books? Or re-read old favourites? 

I have a limited time to read (sadly…). What is the best use of it? To return to something I love? To take the risk of finding a new love? 

There’s value in both. It’s always exciting to discover a new author or new story you didn’t know you’d love. But the tried-and-true books can also offer you new perspectives. You always read it differently. Your stage in life, what’s happening to you now, all can shape your beloved story into a new experience. 

But what if you’re missing out on the next-best read? What if you turn away a potential melt-your-heart story? Given how many books are published each year, and given how many older books you also may not have read, wouldn’t it be better to read widely? 

Here’s the only way I’ve been able to solve my dilemma: I read what I feel like reading. Not because I have to—I’m not a student in school with a compulsory reading list—but because reading is joy. That’s what I’m striving for. What do I think will bring me joy in that moment? An old stand-by? A story and characters I already know and love? Or the thrill of finding my next new favourite (that I will then push to the re-read pile)? It’s my only criteria. 

Consider that the next time you face the same dilemma as me. What books bring you joy?

Advice in All its Forms

I did what I said I’d never do… fall into the trap of believing that celebrities aren’t the same as the rest of us… I read an interview with actor/producer Reese Witherspoon where she says she no longer gets upset by rejection because she’s learned to let go of what other people think. I love her message, but a small, snarky part of me felt it was disingenuous. Of course she can ignore the sting of rejection—she’s uber-successful! Not like us unknown creative types still toiling away in obscurity. 

But I was being unfair. I don’t know Reese Witherspoon as an individual. I don’t know the challenges she faced either at the beginning of her career or even now. I admire her work, and she’s obviously put in a ton of effort into her career, so why should I dismiss her hard-won wisdom simply because I didn’t (or don’t) see her struggles?

That’s the way we are as writers. We look at successful authors and think easy for them to say. But it’s not. Their own careers may have taken them on challenging trajectories. In fact, maybe your own writing life is going more smoothly than theirs at the same stage. We never know the challenges another artist faces; let’s give them the benefit of the doubt that yes, they do know what it’s like. 

Which brings us back to Reese’s original point. Rejection sucks, but ultimately, what matters most about your writing is what you think of it. 

Adjusting Writing Expectations

I have an innate sense of time. Without a watch, I can often tell the time. I can also estimate how long an activity will take, and when to leave to get somewhere. I’m not perfect, but as a mom trying to juggle the lives of the four people in our family, it’s an invaluable tool. 

For a long time, I assumed everyone had the same gift; it always amazed me how people “lost track of time.” How? It’s right in front of you! Some argue that it’s freeing, especially if you’re into something you truly love—like reading or writing. I get that, but even still, I can lose myself in a book, yet still know to come up for air in time to cook dinner. 

This time management skill has served me well as a writer and book coach. As writers, we often underestimate how long something will take—a paragraph, a scene, a full draft. With unrealistic expectations comes frustration. Why am I not done yet? That leads to self-doubt and even giving up. At least I can temper my expectations.

But if you don’t have the same gift? That’s okay! Because I can estimate well, I’m telling you everything takes longer than you think. 🙂 Whatever time you’ve allotted, double it. Now you won’t stress as much. Yes, it may take you longer to finish, but this way you will finish. 

Which means readers will get their chance to lose track of time with your story. 🙂

And Feeling Validated

When I first watched Titanic, I was, predictably, emotionally crushed—but I also felt a jarring discomfort. (And no, it wasn’t whether Jack could have fit on the door!) It was at the end, when an old Rose dies, and her younger self is reunited with Jack. Beautiful, heartwarming, right? But we’d seen photos of her full life, with a husband she’d found after Jack. In Rose’s afterlife, where was he? Did she have to split her time between her two loves? 

It seems silly, but my reaction never left me. Then I read a book that addressed my very concern! It wasn’t about Rose and Jack, but the protagonist, who was near death, was agonizing over his boyfriend. He wanted Adam to find love again, but he was afraid of what would happen in heaven. Would he have to share Adam for eternity? 

Yes! I thought. Finally, somebody thinks like me! It was yet another reminder of the power of stories. It was validating my own thoughts and feelings. Books can do that for us on big-scale ideas—validating our own sexuality or life choices or identities—but they’re just as valuable in validating us about the small things—like esoteric thoughts about the afterlife. 

It’s why I write. Maybe, just maybe my own ideas, put on the page, in the heads of my characters, can connect with readers and help them feel validated, too. 

If that isn’t a reason to keep writing, I don’t know what is. 

And Power of Words

My daughter’s friend told a story: her dad was interviewing a teen boy for a job at a paddleboard shop. It was the kid’s first interview. He was nervous. So when he was asked why he wanted to work there, he replied, “I just love waterboarding.”

Her dad paused, clearly amused as the young man recognized his mistake. “Well, I suspect our customers won’t like it, though.”

I laughed when I heard the story. 

A few weeks later, my daughter was cooking pasta. She was impatiently staring at the not-yet-bubbling pot of water. She huffed in frustration. “How long does this thing take to load?” 

I laughed when I heard her. 

The humour of these two vignettes comes from the power of words—or in these cases, the unexpected use of words in the wrong context. 

It was a reminder that, yes, story is important, and yes, characters are important, and yes, plot is important, but so, too are the actual tools of our trade: words. We create art from words. We create effects from words. We create emotions from words. Words are our palette; let’s make the world bright and vibrant.

And then let’s tuck those very moments of colour we experience in our daily lives into our back pockets so we can then share them with the world. 

When Optimism Isn’t Always Enough

I was chatting with a few author friends. We’ve all published at least one novel (some have published more) but none of us is a household name (except, well, in our own households. :))

We keep writing, and we keep publishing and we keep marketing and we keep striving. Not so much for money or fame (though, I’m okay to try those out!) but we strive to broaden our reach and our impact with our words. 

And it’s tough. It’s expensive and draining, and demoralizing. “No one knows how hard following your dream really is!” one of my friends said. She’s right. We often like to speak of stars and clouds and reaching for both—the sky’s the limit, aim higher!—yet we gloss over the drudgery and difficulties. Optimism and a positive attitude are wonderful and necessary, but sometimes, they’re just not enough. 

Sometimes, you’re just stuck in the muck. Sometimes you feel like you’ll drown in it. Sometimes, your writing goals, no matter what they are, feel hopeless.

Yes, we all need perseverance. Yes, we all need to put in the work and effort, and no one said it would be easy. But when it isn’t easy, it’s hard to remember what it was all for. 

Following your dream of being a writer is hard. I can’t tell you to give up or not give up. But I can tell you you’re not alone. And hearing that from my friends is enough to keep me writing. I hope it can be for you, too. 

Writing Pride At Every Step

My friend, who has young twins, was ecstatic that her girls could now put on their own shoes and get themselves into the car. My own daughters are late-teenagers; they’re driving the car. But as proud as my friend was of her kids’ accomplishments, so, too was I proud of my own daughter’s independence when she moved to a new city for university. “She bought a new couch!” I proclaimed proudly. 

As I was thinking that every new development in our children’s lives is an opportunity for pride, so, too, is our writing. If you’re starting out, you may feel like the toddlers, barely able to put on their own shoes. But since you’ve never done that before—started a novel, finished a first draft, polished a final copy—you should take as much pride and pleasure in your accomplishments as the little girls. And if you’ve written a bunch of manuscripts, but now one is published, then that is something to celebrate. Perhaps you’ve published dozens of books. Your next one, the one you thought you might not finish after all, becomes cause for joy. 

We may view the growth of children in chronological years, but writing isn’t like that. Age doesn’t matter to a writer; only where you are at. And wherever it is—beginner or experienced, you deserve to be proud of your efforts. 

Now I’m going to put on my own shoes, drive to my daughter’s new city and plunk myself down on her new couch to write. 🙂

Finishing a To-Read Pile: Impossible!

My to-read pile is a mile high. My list of books I want to read is even longer. My stack of resources of books I may want to read (newsletters, blogs, recommendations) is unending. 

And still I went into the bookstore the other day and bought three books I’d never heard of. 

Oh, the guilt! There are SO many books, yet I just “jumped the queue” with these three? Yes, they may sit on that growing to-read pile for days (months, years—who’s kidding who) or I may pick them up tomorrow because they’re my shiny new thing, but how could I do that to my lovingly curated piles and lists?

In other words, how can I consume every book that interests me? 

Obviously, you can’t. Millions of books are published each year. Piled onto the millions of books published the year before, and the year before that, and all the classics you haven’t read and all the books you want to re-read and you are looking at the metaphorical equivalent of turning over every grain of sand in the world.

What to do with that bittersweet misery? Bitter—you can’t read everything; sweet—there’s an abundance of amazing choice. 

Turn it into a mindfulness moment. Enjoy the book in front of you, no matter where it is/is not on your to-read list. If you’re drowning in guilt over all the books you want to read, you might as well ditch the guilt and just drown in the stories you are reading. 🙂